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>> Monday, August 24, 2009

"Freedom", just another F word? Said a write- up on a fashion magazine. Smart one by the writer. I rarely "read" from a magazine about fashion. The usage of F to catch attention always works. I was amused by what freedom meant for Bijoy Venugopal. I was actually smiling after I finished reading it. I wondered how many more people in the world actually felt truly free when they din have to answer tests in mathematics and physics. I personally(yes, weirdly) loved the pressure of exams. After the exams I would miss the last minute frantic studying. Din have the chance to study physics in school, but mathematics was a pet paper. It was the pressure of results I could not take.

Anyway, Bijoy got me thinking for a while. What did freedom actually mean to me? No answer. I asked myself again. Wait a second, said a small voice. Was I not free yet? I was getting to do what I want. Oh at least most of it. But was I truly free? Did I complain bout how unfair the world around was. Did I envy people with lesser boundaries. I did. So often. All I needed was freedom of being chaotic when I wanted. :). I wanted to be the person who doesn't wait for opinions and permits to live my own life. But that would mean I would have no access to people I care about. I'm chaotic enough this way. Let me spare poor souls around me. And whoosh went the crazy thoughts OUT. The freedom I already had was scary enough. If I just knew how to thank god for what I have. Let me go back to my book. I might find more dangerous questions to ask myself. So long.

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Lillies

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